New Ventures And Letting Go Of The Past... Exciting Or Terrifying?
This Kiwi Yogi is embarking with new project! It would seem like a heap of fun.... right..?
I mean, I like being challenged, working hard and admire the way the universe just seems to flow so effortlessly (at times) and is part of the fun! Dreams start with a thought, a spark & idea. In the instant - it seems easy - and then somehow we over-analyse the process, create self-doubt and eventually forget about it or don't have the courage to pursue it!......
You may see me post a picture here doing a headstand for example - things look great, legs straight... strong arms... but little do you know - is that my legs wobble, my arms shake, I notice the moments where I remind myself to breathe.... and then ungracefully dismount to a shaky pile on my mat. Because to be honest - my personal practice has not been strong or consistent - my life has been so chaotic and distracted that this is reflected in my emotions, mind and body. I am so many projects in the pipeline, so many ideas and dreams - that in reality, they don't always work out....
I have taught many Essential Oils classes & Yoga Classes recently - been talking and inspiring others to empower there own lives with love and good health, whilst quietly battling my own struggles to find balance. So, due to my awareness of this, I made a conscious effort to make more time for my personal practise. I knew that is what I needed. I took on the challenges of Headstands and Forearm Balances, ones that I was strong at not so long ago!, and found myself not sturdy, not as strong as I once was. My ego took a blow.... what happened??
Had I neglected myself? Perhaps not initially... or visibly to others - but in past practises where I made an effort to challenge myself, to break through the 'can't do' mentality and actually give it a good crack and be skillful at it, had fallen away.... got complacent, and just thought I would just move on - there were more options out there - plenty of do... right??
hmmmm maybe not..... I am living this life to be strong, to be an inspiring and motivating being, to be a loving Wife, Mum and friend. My life has purpose to create something unique and expressive where I can be myself unapologetically - we all have that purpose! The Journey of Life is finding what sparks us up - challenges us and grows with us. Be open to it & embrace it.
I want to know its ALL okay, To dream. To want to be happy. To want to be successful. and To fail from time to time. To get into a headstand and the body shake and fall out ungracefully... the ego gets a blow - but, get back up, try again until i succeed and continue to succeed. Everyday I will remind myself of this and to feel that I am okay. I am enough right now.
Like if you want to grow a garden - I'd consider the best placement for seeds - enough sun, water, and food for it to grow... then plant my seed and leave it there - not uprooting it and changing place because of the lack of ability to trust, to grow and build in time from that very spot. And when that beautiful seed has grown into a blossoming flower - I can't just leave it and expect it to stay like that - it will always need water, sun and food....
I began my yoga journey as I loved the infinite space I dropped into when I was present. A lot has changed since I first began, some days good with amazing mental clarity - some days with terrible back pain, struggling to touch my toes and being irritable or moody. But the thing I have noticed lately - is when I have constant practise of self-love, awareness and focus - I become stronger, faster and more responsive rather than reactive, sluggish and weak. Let what I did yesterday be a lesson, an experience - then grow and learn from it without attachment so that moments you are in, can be present and satisfying on every level.
ATTENTION UNIVERSE - I acknowledge I have something to share, to contribute .... please be kind to me, as I will continue to grow, learn and experience it all along the way.....I open my heart to all new ventures with dedication, awareness and a open mind.
How I respond is my journey - When my heart beats faster with excitement with thoughts of new ventures, but then begin to hold my breath, it becomes an emotion of fear. When I consciously breathe and allow my energy to flow- it becomes exciting!
So my followers out there, you will see me more - I will be proudly sharing my knowledge and experiences of life, yoga and health. It will be exciting... Moments will be terrifying but I am living the life I was born to live.... I hope to see you take that journey with me.
Namaste, the.kiwi.yogi
(Note - I write my blogs, not to just inspire others out there - but to remind myself of how much I learn and grow every single day... some days i may look back and cringe at what i wrote but most times I smile and accept...)